THE RULES
via our English friend Theo Spark:
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(5) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(6) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.
(7) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your ass!
(8) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet,you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.
(9) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. If you know a military spouse - thank them. They sacrifice just as much, if not more, than the active duty member but they hardly ever get to hear a simple "Thank You" for what they have to put up with. Without our military and their families, our country would get its ass kicked."
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
"If you can read this, thank a teacher"
"If you are reading it in English, thank a veteran."
Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel
"Dear Civilians,We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(5) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(6) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.
(7) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your ass!
(8) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet,you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.
(9) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. If you know a military spouse - thank them. They sacrifice just as much, if not more, than the active duty member but they hardly ever get to hear a simple "Thank You" for what they have to put up with. Without our military and their families, our country would get its ass kicked."
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
"If you can read this, thank a teacher"
"If you are reading it in English, thank a veteran."
Labels: humor
posted by Cargosquid at 11:00 PM
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