Nort Spews: Flora McDonald, Arthur Ashe and the Davis Cup

Maybe it's because I've had a few sips of the "recipe" this evening, but this seems to have a Fawlty Towers cachet. I've excerpted the mention of my namesake and Arthur Ashe for posterity.

Clans pining for the new prince
By Robert Philip
(Filed: 08/04/2006)

Not since Charles Edward Stuart rowed ashore at Eriskay on July 23, 1745, had the clans looked forward to an arrival into their midst with such clamorous excitement. Bonnie Prince Andy was coming home to his ain folk.

But when the boat sailed up the Clyde to the Braehead Arena, who walked down the gangplank? Greg Rusedski, of Montreal, Quebec, and Arnold Palmer, from Hitchin, Hertfordshire, that's who.

"It's Parmar, dear," whispered a latter-day Flora McDonald to her mystified husband.

"Who?"

"Ar-vind Par-mar."

"I thought Arnold Palmer was a bit long in the tooth. So where's this Andy Murray geezer?"

"He's got a sore leg and Amazonian swamp fever or something, so he isn't playing until tomorrow."

"Then what the hell are we doing here today?"

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Before Murray opted out of the opening singles, captain Jeremy Bates voiced the hope that Glasgow would provide a "football-type" crowd generating a "rip their heads off" atmosphere. But without Murray to fire local passions, the Braehead Arena bore little resemblance to the raw hostility of Ibrox or Parkhead.
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The main talking point among the audience during the Rusedski-Tipsarevic encounter was whether our visitor was wearing prescription spectacles or 'I am a prat' sunglasses. As the match was played indoors while outdoors it was a typical Glaswegian spring morning of driving rain, sleet and hailstones, the consensus was that Tipsarevic might be a tad short-sighted.

There then ensued a discussion on the number of leading players who wore spectacles (it was that kind of a day). I can remember Jaroslav Drobny, Billie Jean Moffitt/King as was, Clark Graebner, Arthur Ashe and Martina Navratilova, but if you can recall any others I would be delighted to hear from you on this subject.

Haste ye back, Andy.

More on Andy Murray here.